35 Things I learnt before turning 35

The below list is not in order of priority, they are all equally important to me :) Happy reading!

1. Start every day with a grateful heart - nothing will give you as much joy as being thankful for what you already have instead of being miserable thinking about what you don't have. Gratitude is the doorway to bringing abundance into your life.
2. Don't compare yourself to others - we're all on our own journey in this life and each responsible for that life. Live it by just doing you. Do you to the best of your ability. You do you and I'll do me ;)
3. Don't hold on to the hurt of a past relationship for too long - hold on long enough and you'll hold on just to ruin any potential relationship. Cry until your tears dry but don't cry too long. Every relationship is allotted only so many tears before you have to put on your big girl pants and move on. Remember that you are born a complete person. You don't need anyone to complete you. And when your past comes knocking, keep walking, you're not meant to move back in life. 
4. Travel - even if it's just once a year or to the town next door. Get out of your comfort zone. Nothing in life is a better teacher than travel.  I'm not the only one that thinks so http://iheartintelligence.com/2015/05/09/travelling-makes-you-smarter/
   
5. Be kind to your parents - they are not going to be around forever and neither are you. Trust me! Losing my mom when I was 28 is probably part of the reason I fight so hard to be a good person on a daily basis. But even unicorns have off days, so yeah, don't test me ;)   
6. Family means something different to everyone - Family isn't always blood. It's the people that's there for you at your best and at your worst. They are the ones that cherish you instead of taking you for granted. Surround yourself with people like that and blood or no blood, you will have a family.
7. Put yourself first. Always! - yes that sounds selfish, but so what? If you're not going to look after yourself first, how can you expect to be there for anyone else? If you can't love yourself enough, why do you think someone else will? 
8. Happiness is in your hands - what? No one told you this? It's true. Your happiness is not dependent on the job you have, the car you drive or love of your life. First you need to learn to be happy by yourself, for no reason. Any reason that brings you happiness can be taken away at any point. When you wake up every morning, choose happiness.  
9. Be kind - but don't be a pushover.
10. Listen - it's amazing how much you learn by listening with intent and not just to give a reply. You'll hear so much more than what is being said.
11. Let your inner child out to play - often! - there's nothing sadder than a 25 year old acting like a sad 50 year old and nothing more joyful than seeing a 50 year old infused with the youth of a 25 year old. Yes we all need to be serious at work and home and all the adulting we have to do. But ever so often put adult on pause and let out that inner 4 year old. Be-it dancing barefoot or splashing around in water. Whatever makes your inner child happy.
12. Forgiving -  I don't believe the old "forgive and forget". Somethings you need to remember coz it makes up a fundamental part of the person you become. I chose to forgive, not because society dictates this to be the norm in polite circles, but because no one should have such control over any of my emotions. So whilst I can be pissed off right now, I can be totally fine tomorrow morning and not hold on to the anger. The person on the other hand, I might not hold on to. I might decide to forgive and let you go. 
13. Regret - the one word no one wants to have hanging over them when they're 60. I've been told you only regret the things you didn't do. Although sometimes you really do regret that last shot the morning after when your hangover is trying to kill you. Some opportunities in life just don't come twice, so carpe diem! 
    
14. Nurture vs nature - no, you can't blame all of life's problems on where you started or how you grew up. I'm not talking about the extreme cases where children are starving to death in certain parts of the world. I'm talking to you, reading this blog because if you have access to a computer, your life ain't as bad as you think. Whatever you think about how success depends on where you come from, is false. Yes some are born with the golden spoon and some have to work hard. At the end of the day, the person you become is the person you choose to be, no matter the external forces. 
15. Friendships - not everyone is meant to be part of your journey in life. Some friendships will last 10 minutes and some will last 10 years. Nurture the ones that will last 10 years and learn from the ones that lasts 10 minutes. If it only lasts 10 minutes and you say you didn't learn anything, I beg to differ: You learnt what you didn't want in a friend.
16. Work should never be your number 1 priority - yes, yes, yes, we have bills to pay and need food to survive. But seriously, work can not be your number 1 priority. Spending all day at work in order to make a living but never having a life....highest level of stupidity! Work hard but make sure you find a balance...or find a new job.
17. Go ahead, be different - what would be the point of your existence if you acted like everyone else?
    
18. Meditate - with everything going on in our daily lives, we need the quiet time for our minds in order not to go completely bonkers. Meditation is the minds' version of chicken soup for the soul. It will expand your awareness and open your mind to see a world you didn't know was around you.
19. Be the change you want to see in the world - Gandi actually meant to say don't be like the rest of the assholes you meet. If you can't find a good person, be one. It really is that simple. Don't let the bad of others turn you into a bad person. Rage against it and work every day to be the best version of yourself that you can be.
20. Read -  anything you can, whenever you can. I love me some TV but nothing beats a great book - from soppy romance novels, to Osho or thrillers to Louise Hay and Doreen Virtue. Whatever floats your boat. Just read coz those books will either transport you to another world or help you deal with this one, either way, it gives your brain a nice little work out.
21. Say Hello - in as many languages as you can learn! It's amazing how you can change the moment just by saying hello to someone in their own language. Many times, that's the key to getting them to smile. You don't have to know every language, just saying Hello is enough. Not enough people greet strangers they pass anymore. 
22. Say Please & Thank You -  a lot of people take for granted things they have. Ever realized that your wife doesn't have to cook you dinner every night but she does it anyway? Or your older sibling looking out for you? Or your friend that always listens to your complaints without fuss? "Yes my darling wife, I'd love to have some roast chicken and can I  please have some sweet peas on the side? Thank you."
23. Send flowers - yeah this counts for boys and girls equally! In all honesty, I've never sent flowers to a guy but I've sent to girls. Friends, my mom, aunts, cousins, sisters. And it's amazing how a simple bouquet of bright flowers can brighten up even the worst of days. So when you get the nudge in your head to send someone flowers, do it. It's a gorgeous gift to send and receive. "The dead receive more flowers than the living, because the regret is stronger than the gratitude." 
    
24. Stay humble - doesn't matter what you have achieved in life so far, remember you can always have less. So work hard and stay humble. 
25. Mistakes - we all make them. Don't let one mistake define the rest of your life. Learn from it and do better tomorrow. 
26. Healing - becoming a healer does not automatically mean someone is an angel. My journey to becoming a healer is just that, mine. I'm not studying to become a Master so I can teach, well at least not yet, and I'm not planning on opening a healing studio soon. I study various alternative healing techniques so that I can be a better person (refer to points 7 and 19). My journey is as much becoming a healer as it is being healed myself. 
    
27. Respect - that 2 way street most people think is 1 way. Respect is not just given, it is earned. Also remember to respect yourself, that way you won't accept anything less from others. And I might not agree with every religion out there but I respect each of the religions my friends are part of. Because how can I expect them to respect my way of life if I don't respect theirs....see, 2 way street ;) 
28. Not my circus, not my monkeys - too many times you get wrapped up in someone else's drama or someone else's fight. Everyone's issues should not be your issues. If my friend doesn't like someone but I do, I'll still talk to that person...mostly because I have a brain and can think for myself...but also because whilst that person might not be your cuppa tea, they could be my shot of patron. Don't get too involved in the problems of others, we all have our own to deal with anyway. 
29. Your vibe attracts your tribe - I'm amazed by how many people in my life have started their own journey on the spiritual path, some of them have even attributed it to seeing the way it has changed me and that has made them want to change too. If you send out positive vibes, you get to be surrounded by people with positive vibes. Every now and then a person with a fake vibe will appear but they don't last long. Trust that the Universe always intends the best for you and those fake people trip up faster than expected. 
30. It's OK not to have a 5 year plan - I have no idea why people come up with those things, seriously! I do know though that life begins at 40, so I'll just be starting the next awesome chapter of my life. Apart from that, the only things I really plan is an annual vision board that has basically been the same for the past 4 years : travel to an island, my friends are my family, choose happiness, approach things with love, stop smoking (hahahaha!!), we each define our own success and work-out more (even funnier than the stop smoking one!). Yes, it's OK to not have a 5 year plan but have some sort of plan.
31. Get in to nature - it's amazing what a walk on the beach or sitting on the grass can do for you. Part of my love for traveling to islands is the nature of both grass and ocean around me. We spend so much time in the city with our fast-paced jobs and fast-paced lives that we forget to just appreciate the sand under our feet. Or maybe that's just me coz I'm a barefoot hippie flower child at heart with a love for pink bubbly. 
32. Don't judge - I live in a no judgement zone. You seriously have to be the worst kind of person to get judged by me. (My peeves are abusers, thieves and liars.) Other than that, really no judgement. I'm not walking in your shoes to be judging you and I'm not superior to you. At the end of the day, whatever you do is between you and your maker.
33. A pretty face will get old - but a good person will stay a good person. Don't be in a relationship with someone because they are hot or friends with someone because they are pretty. I'd rather know if the book has substance than just judging it by the pretty cover. 
34. Question everything - Why should we believe something someone wrote down that apparently happened eons ago? Is the version of the news that the media reports actually the truth? How do we know? Ok, I don't watch news, but still, how do we know? When 6 corporations owns 90% of the media, can we actually trust that we're not being made to believe certain things? The best selling book of all times, the bible....I've been questioning that book since I was 10, in Sunday school, to the annoyance of my teacher. I mean the continuity at the start just made me wonder....You know...Adam + Eve = Cain and Abel; Cain + wife = wait, hold up! Where did the wife come from?! I'm not atheist, I'm not anti-christ, I'm just a spiritual being having a human experience. And I like to question things that make no sense. Enjoy this bit http://www.elephantjournal.com/2008/09/bible-forbids-homosexuality-west-wing-michael-moore-gay/
35. A broken heart heals - no seriously, it does. In that moment, you think you're gonna be sad forever, that you're never gonna stand up again, that you're never gonna stop crying. And when I'm saying broken heart, I'm not just talking about losing your boyfriend or girlfriend. Loss is loss and grieving over that loss is still grieving. Be-it for your favourite dog, your mother that died and the idiot that broke your heart. Whatever it is that broke your heart, know that in the end, a broken heart will heal. Just give it some time. All you need is faith, trust and a little pixie dust ;) 
    

And that boys and girls is about all I've learnt so far in life. It's not much, but it's more than I knew 10 years ago. Who knows, I might write something at 40 and I can claim all the above was the bullshit writings of a crazy woman. But at this point in time, this is what I know....