Slowly walking my stages
According to Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, you have to pass 5 stages of grief when you lose someone, when you're the one that gets left behind.
Stage 1 - Denial - Oh my friend how I love this stage. "Of course I'm fine." "I'm great!" "This didn't happen, I mean definitely not to me!"
Stage 2 - Anger - Now this one, I never wanted to leave!! "I mean, why did it happen to me?" "It's not fair at all!" "What did I do to deserve this heart ache and pain?" "Why did you do this to me?" "Who else can I blame for what just happened?"
Stage 3 - Bargaining - I've just reached you and I'm telling you, I hope you work my friend. "I just want one more day", "I promise to quit smoking right now if...", "If I get just one more day, I promise I will treat you better", "If I get one last hug, I will move on"
I'm not sure how long it will take me to get to stage 4 (depression) and stage 5 (acceptance). And I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to deal with that. Stage 4 will have me trying to die every day I guess. Because why go on without you, right? I mean what's the point.
And then I think about it...you're walking my stages with me. You're keeping me safe. Your love helps me get through them in my own time.
Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day I miss you Mom.
Stage 1 - Denial - Oh my friend how I love this stage. "Of course I'm fine." "I'm great!" "This didn't happen, I mean definitely not to me!"
Stage 2 - Anger - Now this one, I never wanted to leave!! "I mean, why did it happen to me?" "It's not fair at all!" "What did I do to deserve this heart ache and pain?" "Why did you do this to me?" "Who else can I blame for what just happened?"
Stage 3 - Bargaining - I've just reached you and I'm telling you, I hope you work my friend. "I just want one more day", "I promise to quit smoking right now if...", "If I get just one more day, I promise I will treat you better", "If I get one last hug, I will move on"
I'm not sure how long it will take me to get to stage 4 (depression) and stage 5 (acceptance). And I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to deal with that. Stage 4 will have me trying to die every day I guess. Because why go on without you, right? I mean what's the point.
And then I think about it...you're walking my stages with me. You're keeping me safe. Your love helps me get through them in my own time.
Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day I miss you Mom.
what stage am I you ask???Stage 2 and so it'll remain for god-knows-how-long!!I cannot stress how angry I really am....why her\??why did they get to live????ANDD why oh why oh why did they decide to ignore her final wishes......blatantly and willingly???and on THAT day?I will probably remain angry for centuries to come but at least.....my love for her will grow more when I think of those insolent twats who have and will never be worth more than a fraction of the soles of her shoes.................
ReplyDeleteMaybe someday my sis we will get to stage 5...maybe
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